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The Quilt

Q from AtoZChallenge

Quilt. 
गोधडी. 
Hand-stitched गोधडी! 

When I was around seven or eight, my Aaji hand-stitched two गोधडीs for me. One was a magenta-red with white and orange dots and elephants on the border and the other was a bright mango-yellow with tiny white polka dots and a brown border. 
She had used four of her sarees, rather पात्तळ (her word for her everyday soft cotton sarees) and had undertaken this 'project of love' for me, her youngest grand-daughter! 
She had layered one saree over the other, keeping the pretty, softer side on the outside and had hand-stitched it with the thicker thread and a taller pin. 

My Aaji had a sewing machine at home. A regular tailor's machine, which worked manually. The one where you had to step on and keep pedaling and tapping for the machine to move. She had used the machine for years, stitching bags, pillow covers, making kids' dresses and many things (which surprisingly I never got to see). In my memory, this machine had gone rusty and stiff. I would often hide under the sewing table and imagine it to be a ride from an amusement park as when I would sit on it, I could make it go up and down. Other fascination was turning the wheel on the machine. It was stiff, but I loved using all my strength and make it go round! Sadly, my Aaji never found it amusing and I often got caught. The machine made a lot of noise and my Aaji would admonish me and send me off from my 'hiding-place'. She sold this machine as she wasn't using it anymore and I think she didn't have the strength to physically pedal it. 

I remember she had just got a cataract operation done. But that didn't stop her to pursue her love for stitching and I don't know what triggered her to make me two godhadis, but she spent a few months hand-stitching the two godhadis for me. 
I couldn't express how happy I was when she gifted me those complete godhadis. This was the first ever hand-stitched heirloom that I had received! 
I had seen her toil hard every afternoon, wearing her glasses, holding the thread and pin close to her face and sewing the quilt. I would often get scared and wondered if she would stab herself in the eye! 
She was proud of her creation and I think relieved that she had successfully accomplished her 'Aaji duties!' 
To express my gratitude, I used the two गोधडीs every night, till I was in college, and till the time I wore them off completely and till they began to spilt and tear! 
The orange godhadi had travelled with me to my first Himachal trek in Manali and had given me the much needed warmth and comfort when I would miss home! 

Years later when I saw the movie 'Stepmom',  the true meaning of the गोधडी struck me! 
Jackie (Susan Sandron) is dying of cancer and in her final days, calls Anna, her daughter to their room and gifts Anna a hand-made quilt. Jackie has hand-stitched some old photos, little fabric pieces of Anna's dresses (when she was little), the memories they both shared together and woven it into this heirloom. It is Jackie's way of wanting to be connected to her daughter, even after death separates them. She wants her daughter to know that even when she won't be around, Anna wouldn't feel alone. It is here that it struck me! 

(image source: Stepmom clip from Movieclips, Youtube)

The quilt is a hug! The quilt is that love, that protection you feel even when your loved one is no longer around. Jackie makes and gifts Anna a quilt so that whenever she misses her mum and whenever she feels like hugging her mum, she could just wrap herself in the quilt and feel the warmth and the love! 

It is then that I realised what my Aaji had gifted me! I don't think she would have really thought so much, but isn't that the real meaning of these heirlooms, that our loved ones leave for us? 
It's a Remembrall, about the person, about the love that they had for us. 
I strongly believe that even after our loved one passes away, the love remains, the blessings remain!
And death cannot do us apart! 

I don't regret a lot about wearing out my Aaji's गोधडीs. Even if they are torn and fragile, I still have them and have kept them tucked away. I would rather preserve them the way they are rather than re-working on them. I wouldn't want to change a stitch and undo what my Aaji has done! 
I don't really know if I have the guts to wrap the quilt around me. Because I know it is going to make me miss my Aaji even more and might make me bawl. 

But I know, I have many more memories and गोधडी like Remembralls of my Aaji, that I can cherish and might show it to my grandkids someday. 
And maybe hand-stitch some of my own versions of quilts for my loved ones, some day :)  


(image source: Stepmom clip from Movieclips, Youtube)

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Comments

Unknown said…
Yes... Amuu definitely, the love remains ♥️♥️♥️♥️
May 13, 2020 at 12:18 PM
CBarg said…
My didu = your aaji had one of those sewing machines at her house, it was rarely in use. I'd start running the pedals, didu would get angry, mum would be embarassed, my cousin bratpack happy i got mothballed for the day. I'd then wait for few days to get my hands, legs rather once again running that sweet sweet machine.

I Remembered it only when i read this. Wonderful writing Amruta, write more!
May 13, 2020 at 1:20 PM
Amruta Pradhan said…
Thank you Gau and Bhargav :) Means a lot <3
May 13, 2020 at 2:24 PM
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