A Big Leap

She sat in her room ready and alone. The make up artist had just finished the work, making her look the most beautiful that she had ever looked in her life. It was her big day. She was no longer going to be just a girl and a daughter. Within a few hours, she was going to be a wife and a daughter-in-law. She was going to be a woman!

She looked at herself in the mirror and was taken aback. The woman in the reflection was looking different than she had pictured. All her life, she had imagined herself to be a bride. She had spent hours and days looking for the perfect dress that would be her bridal dress. Now that she had finally got what she wanted, she was still wondering if this woman staring at her from the mirror was indeed happy.

It had been a long journey for her to see this day. She had been in love for eight years with a man who had dumped her in the end for not being of the same community. She had given him everything and had received nothing in the end. At times she wondered, “Would I ever be able to love someone so much, all over again? Do I have any more love left in me?” She had been scarred and scared because of the previous relationship. She had always somehow imagined herself to ‘end up’ with him as every time things had worked for the two of them and they had always found each other to be together; despite of everything!

picture courtesy: google images/beingbrideweddings.co

Now however, things hadn’t worked for her and she was no longer with him. She was with another man whom her parents had sought out. She hadn’t thought she would ever have an arranged marriage but now, she indeed was having one! In a few hours, she was going to be married to this new man whom she had hardly known for the last eight months and would be spending her entire life with him. She wondered, “What am I doing? Here I am sitting dressed as a bride, waiting for my to-be husband to take me along with him. But is this what I want? Or is it what my parents want?”

The past eight months weren’t easy for her. She had to move on and destroy every bit of a feeling and a dream that she had developed and nurtured for all of her growing years. She had had to start all over again. She had had to get to know this new man and his family and had to look and be happy and nice to everyone so as to win everyone’s approval. She had had to learn to let go and dream afresh. Everything had to be new- hopes, dreams, and journey. She simply couldn’t keep anything old.

Her heart skipped as she saw the time. She wished someone could come into her room and be with her and let her not think. Her parents were busy receiving the rest of the family, her friends were yet to reach and her cousins were busy appreciating and raving about their own dresses. She had to accept that for a few minutes she was going to be alone and she had to spend it with herself. She now could no longer look into the mirror. She began looking around and when she hadn’t found anything to look at, she slowly looked back into the mirror at the woman who looked so ravishingly pretty and ready.

And then she thought, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t let my dreams die. I can’t be scared and live in doubts. I have to break free. I have to accept and embrace this. I am going to start a new life with a new man, whom I know adores me and cares for me. Yes, love will happen. I will fall in love with him someday for real. And when I do, I will love him more than I ever have. I am going to live a new life and start a new journey. Who knows what will happen? Maybe what I thought was love wasn’t love at all. My husband would teach me to live the true meaning of love and life. What we would have would be real and true. What we would have would be my ‘forever’ and it would be my ‘love story.’ I am ready now. I am ready to take this leap of faith. And I am going to take a big one!”

For the first time since morning she looked at herself and saw herself smiling. She could feel her cheeks turning hot and pink with excitement and anticipation. She could feel the butterflies in her tummy. She blushed and said; “Now I am a bride.”

Just then the door opened and her friends rushed and squealed with joy and hugged her, “There’s our bride!” She looked at the woman in the mirror one more time and told herself, “Just keep leaping!”

- ACP :)

Comments

shreya sawant said…

Very nicely written Amuu!! :)

April 11, 2016 at 9:52 PM

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